Home   Science Fiction Site Map  
           
Editorial   Travel Logs Photo Album
                 

 
     Lines and Queues

  There are many psychological illnesses such as Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets. Of course spending over a decade in the Army I'm not sure that Ballistophobia is really an illness. I mean a healthy fear of bullets doesn't seem like a bad thing.  I was also surprised at the kind of money that can be made in curing these illnesses.  I read an advertisement on-line that explained that they can cure your Atomosophobia (the fear of atomic explosions) in 3 to 5 hours. The advertisement said "Is it worth $987 to live free of Atomosophobia?"  This actually seems quite cheap.  I wonder if after you give them the $987 dollars if you are not only cured of Atomosophobia but do you some how look forward to atomic explosions. Do you secretly root for the North Koreans to test a nuclear device.  Do you watch the movie "War Games" and hope that the computer decides to launch?

I only ask this question because a  friend of mine was recently treated for Anthropophobia or fear of people or society.  They did such a good job that not only did she no longer fear being with people, she actually enjoyed it.  Every day she would have this strange compulsion to spend time with complete strangers.  She stated out by going to the park, the beach, and then worked up to movies and concerts, and finally to the million man march although she is not African-American or a man.

She kept searching for more and better ways to spend time with people and this developed into a  deep love of standing in line. Now this might seem a bit far fetched but I lived in England for a few years and the British seem to love lines, or queues as they call them. I have had people in England get in a line with me and ask, "Excuse me what is this queue for?" They seem to believe the longer the queue the better the reward.

She was a line connoisseur.  She could tell you the best place to go and the time to go, so that the lines would be at their most fierce.  She would plan trips to Disneyland  during  spring break.  She would stand in line for the rides and just as she got to the front of the queue she would hop out and go back to the end of the line. She loved Disneyland because they are nice enough to mark the lines with those little signs that say, "Wait from this point three hours." This would allow her to choose the longest possible line. If the line started to dwindle down she would begin looking around for a longer line.  She even had her family trained to help her find the longest lines.   Her daughter would come back excited that she had found a really long line for Mom. 

Her husband was less amused to discover that the only reason they kept having children was so that his wife could make them line up for dinner.  They picked out a house with only one bathroom.  Her love of lines did help her keep her weight down since she spent her entire lunch hour cutting to the back of the line.   She is the only one I know that complains the Department of Motor Vehicles only required her to get her license renewed every four years although she did often go down to the DMV until the State trooper told her she couldn't come down there any more except to renew her license.   She was also kicked out of the airport after she made Security nervous and they started to send someone to chase her out of line unless she had a valid ticket.  

She does travel every holiday and makes sure she has to change planes in Chicago, Boston, Atlanta, or Dallas.   She makes sure she has a least a four hour layover and will exit out to baggage claims with her ticket and bags.  She then cuts a sheet of aluminum foil into the shapes of guns and slides them into the out side pockets of other peoples bags.  This slows down the entire process which delays flights and if she misses her flights she gets to spend time in line rebooking it. When they discovered her trick with the aluminum foil more than a few people were a bit upset and she was barred from traveling into, out of, or through the Atlanta area.

She is constantly being seen waiting in lines for the most popular restaurants, hotspots and clubs.  Since she lets so many people cut in front of her she has become famous for being so nice.  She looks forward to shopping on Saturdays. She loves  sporting events, fireworks shows, and concerts since they are fun both coming in and going out.   Since she is a woman the queues at the ladies room is always an additional source of pleasure.

I once asked her what was her best line, the Piece de Resistance.  The best experience ever for some one who loves lines. She didn't even have to think about it, it was Star Wars movies.  She is not a Star Wars fan but the movies are famous for their lines.  She told me she could spend weeks in them and no one will openly criticize her  Well, they did criticize her since it is kind of stupid to stand in a movie line but they just thought that she was a a die hard fan.   The other advantage of Star Wars was that when the line finally did dwindle down and she was forced to actually see the movie it does have a lot of cool scenes with long lines of storm troopers.
 



 

 


 

  Symbiotisches Veröffentlichen GmbH Back to Top